Owning a top-flight football club can be a miserable
business. Though it has the appeal of living a video game in real life, it also
has many pitfalls that can suck all the enjoyment out of it. Players and
managers can fail your trust, the media can provide hourly calls for your head,
and the fans can protest your every decision.
Then there's the distinct possibility
that you have no idea what you're doing and are far too pompous to ever realize
it. And all of this happens while your money burns like a tire fire and
relegation looms as an annual threat of ruin and shame if any combination of
things go wrong at the same time.
For
most owners, navigating this misery is only rewarded with occasional moments of
fleeting success that is usually experienced in the shadows. But unlike the
Glazers, the Ashleys, the Tans, the absentee sheikhs, and many of the others, Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich actually seems
to be enjoying himself.
In
the 11 years since he bought the club, the dour-faced oligarch has often been
seen but is rarely heard. He's been accused of single-handedly ruining the game
with his mountains of dubiously obtained cash, but for all the outrage and
ex-managers left in the wake of his 533-ft yacht, Abramovich looks to be having
an exceptionally good time with his football. Chelsea are currently undefeated,
top of the table and somehow on the safe side of Financial Fair Play, Jose
Mourinho is driving Arsene Wenger mad, Didier Drogba is back in the fold, and Abramovich is in the director's
box — pumping his fists like he's in the audience of the Jerry Springer Show,
watching a little person beat up a morbidly obese adulterer.
Or
sitting back and happily letting his pits flow in the breeze created by his
players banging in goals.
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